Friday, October 06, 2006

Comely and Leering

I've used the same e-mail address since 1995 and published it repeatedly on the web and the Usenet. So I get droves of spam. Mostly I don't have to see it, Thunderbird's spam filter doing a pretty good job. But there's one group of spam messages that are apparently hard to identify as such, and so I have to get rid of them by hand. And that means I have to read their subject lines.

These brief messages are sublime in their abuse of the English language, attempting to entice the recipients to look at porn. Especially the inexplicable choice of adjectives -- somebody's Russian-English dictionary is clearly working overtime. Here are a few gems.
  • Doo appetising Ladies doingg heavenly blowwjob?
  • sophisticated Youungest Hussy in fuckingg
  • cultured Teenies doiing choice blowjobb
  • dishy Young Eighteen so comely and
  • Young Teenies so comely and leering!
  • Do you like squeamish Hussies doing excellent blowjoob?
  • Do you want advisable virginn Teenie?
  • prurient Schoolgiirls doing orgiastic suckinng
  • darling russian squeamish Teenies here!
  • Young Girls so bonnie and pulchritudinous!
  • Do you like esthetic Ladies doing subtle blowjobb?
  • voluptuous Just Ladies and fastidious Bitches from Your dreeam!
  • Young jolly virrgins at harddcore Poorno
  • gentle Girls at Porrn!
Dear Reader, are you by any chance a voluptuous Just Lady or sophisticated Youungest Hussy? Are you squeamish, advisable, fastidious and bonnie? Then please tell me, how do you do it? I must ask my wife as well. I'm sure she was once a young jolly virrgin.

Update 7 October: You'll think I'm making this up, but today I received a spam message whose subject line read "Be A Sperm-man With Shitload Of Sperms". Err... yes, quite.

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Blogger mugabe said...

Is this another of your clever schemes to rack up page hits from Google searches for phrases like "succulent pulchritudinous boobies"?

07 October, 2006 12:11  
Blogger Martin said...

It certainly seems to have worked with you, doesn't it? (-;

07 October, 2006 12:13  
Blogger mugabe said...


07 October, 2006 13:39  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so going to get copyright on "pulchritudinous" before Beyonce gets her hands on it.

07 October, 2006 13:42  
Blogger Karen said...

I'm voluptuous and just but I never claimed to be a "lady".

07 October, 2006 16:11  
Blogger Martin said...

"Pulchritudinous" sounds like a Pet Shop Boys album to me.

Karen, if you're not a lady, would it be safe to say that you are a prurient schoolgiirl?

07 October, 2006 21:38  
Blogger Karen said...

Tee hee...snort....giggle...

08 October, 2006 15:50  
Anonymous wife said...

I was never jolly as a young virrgin.

11 October, 2006 20:40  

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